Advice to my younger self

In the spirit of the 10 year challenge, which has been so prominent on Facebook these last few weeks, I’ve been inspired to reflect on the advice I would give to my 10 years younger self.

This photo is as close as I can get to 10 years ago today, on a dream holiday in St. Lucia and, unknown to me at the time, about to embark on some major life changes.

A lot has happened in the last 10 years: 1 divorce, 1 marriage, loss of my father, 5 new nephews, 3 international moves, 2 changes in employer, numerous changes in jobs, start-up of 2 independent companies, 4 dogs (not at the same time), lots of new friendships, countless triathlon and cycling challenges, first off-piste and touring skiing adventures. It has been a journey of twists and turns, with some choppy seas at times, but I’ve reached a good place and am enjoying the journey more than ever.

I would not be where I am now without all the experiences I’ve had, so I would not wish to change my ultimate path, but if I could go back and apply some of what I’ve learned along the way I could certainly have made some of the steps on the journey less painful for myself and others and spent more of my time in flow, living a more fulfilled life.

In the hope that it might also be helpful to you on your own journey, here are the key things I wish I could tell my 10 years younger self:

Get over it: Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes very bad things happen to very good people. Don’t waste one moment of your "one wild and precious life"(Mary Oliver) ruminating on why, you may never fully understand it. Move on quickly, life will go on and new doors will open. But, allow yourself the time you need to grieve and to be with difficult emotions. If you block sadness you also mute joy. You will recognise that emotions come and go, let them. When life gets tough and it will at points, always remember that "this too shall pass" and trust your light:

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” - Hafiz

Be true to yourself: You will be so much happier when you stop trying to please others, to belong, or to be the person you think you should be. You are perfectly imperfect and whole just as you are. When you accept that (and you will in time) and let people see who you really are, you will naturally attract the people you are meant to be with and release yourself to live life on your terms. Trust yourself and trust your gut. You are the only person who knows what’s best for you.

Be bold and take risks: When you stop focusing on being perfect or comparing yourself to others, and start having the courage to fail, you will unlock a whole new universe of possibilities. Life can be so much more fun when you scare yourself (at least a little). Don’t be afraid to play big and live and love fearlessly.

Slow down and breathe: If you are always running everywhere, fully focused on the finish post and busy "being busy", you will miss out on the sweetness of all those little moments of joy present all around you. Take time to smell the roses. Slowing down will make you more present in your relationships, more conscious of the choices you make and more connected within yourself. Be present in the now:

“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.” - Eckhart Tolle